As followers of Jesus Christ, we live in a state of tension
between what actually is and what is possible. We know that in Jesus the power
of death, destruction and evil has been rendered impotent and replaced with
life. At the same time we see and feel darkness at work around us all the time.
We know God empowers us to be light and bring light to the darkness, but in our
humanness, we often fear the worst-case scenario. It is the tension between
what God says can be and what we fear will be. Jacob knew this tension well.
God told Jacob to return home, and so Jacob set out toward
home. However, he faced a big problem. Years earlier, he tricked his dying
father into giving him the blessing that his Father intended to give Esau, his
older brother, and then fled for his life to keep Esau from killing him. And now, both fearfully and faithfully, Jacob
was on his way home for what would include an inevitable reunion with Esau.
Just before coming face-to-face with Esau, he spent a night
alone wrestling with a “man.” Even though this “man” wanted to be released from
the contest, Jacob would not give up the struggle. As the story develops we
learn he was wrestling with God and would not give up until he had his
blessing. It was at this point Jacob
receive a new name that his descendants carry to this day, Israel.
So what was the wrestling about? Jacob was wrestling with
what he thought was probable and what God had promised, what he saw from a
human assessment and what God said would be. Jacob prays, “I am afraid…, but
you have said.”
Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. But you have said, "I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.” (Genesis 32:11–12, NIV84)
“I am afraid, but you have said,” is the argument we all have
with ourselves as we follow God. Details
aside, God calls us each into an expansive life filled with love and power that
changes the world. From our human perspective we have our reasons for being
fearful. We’re afraid of we’ll fail, afraid we’re look silly, afraid we’re
wrong, afraid of what might happen to us, etc. The other side of the equation
is what God has said.
(See Genesis 32)
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